Just down the road from Gaden Heaven

I'm feeling a bit wigged out.

I randomly came across a blog written by this girl who lives all the way out in America somewhere, and she seems to have developed a very strange sort of infatuation with Rinpoche. I'm still trying to figure out if it's because she's in love with the teachings, or if she's actually somehow in love with him.

Anyway, she just keeps talking about how she wants to come out here, how she wants to take rebirth in Malaysia, how she wants to "trade in her old crusty lama for a dark sexy one."

It's a little bit creepy to read things like that, when people write stuff that's almost obsessive or infatuated, and here we are living just down the road from Rinpoche. (Alright, so maybe she does just love the teachings, and I'm getting weirded out for no reason. I think we all sort of get to a stage, where we feel protective of Rinpoche, like we don't want people to think wrong things or or develop odd views about him).

It's also a reminder - albeit a rather strange one - of how fortunate we really are to be near a teacher who gives us the teachings when we need, and to have all this Dharma so accessible to us.

You know, when you're being bombarded on the phone for the 40th time that day because everyone in the Dharma centre wants something from you, or what you did wasn't good enough, or you didn't get something done in time by yesterday, or how "Rinpoche said..." and he wants it by now, you freak out and scream and want to tell everyone to just BITE ME.

I forget that even when I'm dealing with the 41st person who is asking for yet another unreasonable thing, it's always still about serving the Guru, and making all the joys contained within his work flourish around hundreds of other people.

I forget, when Rinpoche is making us stay up until 5am and torturing us with stories that "I really don't care about right now, Rinpoche!" there are millions and millions of people out there in the world who would do anything for a small bit of guidance from the Buddhas, from God, from the angels or whoever is out there listening, and who just don't know where to find it, or how to get there.

And there he is, right there on the next sofa: Buddha making me play pick games, feeding me coke and asking me what I think about the latest new news.